Last night was one of the worse times of my life. And looking back at it, I can hardly believe I made the choices that I made.

I severely damaged my vehicle.  I am not sure how much damage exactly, but according to the tow truck driver, it’s probably a write-off.

I had been drinking. Not much. But enough that I blew 134. I didn’t feel that I was impaired before I got into my vehicle. I had about four beers and a glass of wine in the evening, and around 11:30PM, felt fatigued. I lay down and then woke up around 2:30AM and felt a little tired still, but was sure I was not impaired. And I decided to go for a drive.

I was driving down a road when I fell asleep. I woke up as I went through an intersection with a stop sign.  I slammed on the brakes and lost control of my vehicle and had an accident causing severe damage to my vehicle and other property.

One thing I can be thankful for is that no one was hurt seriously. I myself suffered a gash down the left side of my forearm, bruises, and some aches and pains.

The OPP arrived on the scene not too long after. I had gotten out of the vehicle, and felt dazed, confused, afraid, and just about every other negative emotion one can feel including panic. I wasn’t sure if I was glad I was alive. It was all so surreal.

As a result of the accident, I was charged with impaired driving as well as driving with over 80 milligrams blood alcohol content.

As well:

I have lost my driver’s licence automatically for 90 days.  I can not believe how much this has interfered with my life already, in just one day.

I know that there are going to be many more consequences. The vehicle I was driving has a large outstanding loan on it. It will probably not be repaired, and I will still have to continue paying for it as the insurance company will not cover damage to a vehicle if driven while impaired.

I have a little boy that I have enjoyed taking camping with me.  I will not be able to do that for a long time, very easily.

I have contacted a lawyer and he will be attending court with me to determine if there are any possible defenses.

Why I made the decision I made, I don’t know.  I have gone over it in my head many times.

I am thankful for some support I have received. I have an awesome business partner who understandably was extremely angry with me upon learning the news of my accident and impairment charges. I have a brother who drove to the police station to get me and who is offering me help with the emotions I am facing.  He’s encouraging me to join AA. I am seriously considering doing that.

The problem is I do enjoy drinking. But it has taken its toll. And I need to take back control. And I’m not sure how to do that.